


The World Is A Bad Place

by Bluhungryshrk



Series: WWE Fics [8]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Has Low Self-Esteem, Dean cries A LOT, First Kiss, Heavy Angst, M/M, Men Crying, Pining, Rare Pair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17223299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluhungryshrk/pseuds/Bluhungryshrk
Summary: Dean knows that love hurts, and it does painfully so, but right here, right now, he can't wait for love to consume him.





	The World Is A Bad Place

**Author's Note:**

> im really gay for this ship

 

The world was a bad place, you didn't have to tell Dean that: he knew that from a young age. The world shaped him, moulded, a fragile young boy, troubled by many things, into an equally troubled man. The world just sat and watched as the man fell deeper and deeper into a pit of despair, one that the man himself dug.

But, one thing that the world didn't teach him was love.

As a kid, Dean had assumed that he'd never fall in love, he'd learnt that relying on other people would, eventually, get you hurt, and besides who's want to fall in love with him: it's unethical.

And then fate, as cruel as it is, contradicted all that the world had taught him.

Dean had never felt love before, and he was glad, judging by all the tears that his friends had shed as love tore them apart, he was lucky.

But luck never seemed to last when your name is Dean Ambrose.

Daniel Bryan was just one of those people that Dean couldn't hate, even though his instincts were clawing at him to push Daniel away; to give the other man a reason to hate him, he just couldn't.

But that doesn't stop him from trying.

Dean was never open about his feelings to anyone, not even Seth or Roman, so it was easy to play it off as 'typical bad boy who won't go near feelings, not even with a 10-foot barge pole'. Granted, that attitude did stop people from wanting to get close to him, but Dean didn't mind: the fewer people around him, the less likely he was to get hurt.

It was a common thought process of Dean's to close himself off from people emotionally, so that they would get the gist and fuck off, leaving him to himself: his own best friend.

Daniel however never took the hint and, as Dean soon learnt, was one of the most open people he'd ever met. He would rant about his feelings, and thoughts, to Dean. Dean tried to convince himself that Daniel was like that to everyone, even if deep down he knew that he wasn't, and then he wondered why Daniel could talk about his feelings so easily, especially to Dean of all people.

Daniel would try, quite often actually, to get Dean to open up about his feelings, but Dean would always find an excuse to change the subject, although there had been a few close calls.

It wasn't that Dean didn't trust himself around Daniel to be open: he did. But it was just that he didn't know how to express his feelings.

The last time he expressed them in a way he felt comfortable, the person had just laughed at him and called him overdramatic, and he would be lying if he said that it hadn't hurt. The person he confessed to was the closest he'd ever felt to being in love, and the heaviness in his heart that he felt at their reaction had put him, even more, off of love.

Whenever the 'feelings talk' came up and Daniel would pour his heart out to Dean about everything that had happened to him in that particular day, he did feel a little guilty that his only replies were low grunts of approval, or disapproval in some cases.

They both knew that Dean purposely changed the subject every time his feelings were brought up, and Dean was somewhat relieved that Daniel let it slide every time: Dean knew how infuriating he could be and he was grateful for Daniel's patience.

But he would probably never open up.

And as much as he hated talking about his feelings, hearing Daniel talk about his made Dean feel... happy. Dean knew that he was falling down the rabbit hole when hearing Daniel talk about his day was quickly becoming his favourite thing.

But even when he realised that he was falling, he was too far gone.

And Dean soon realised that there was no turning back: the only option was to push forward into uncharted territories, no matter how much the thought scared him: he could only prepare for the worst.

The days after he realised that the feelings he tried so hard to ignore had been there the whole time had been hard, but he soldiered on, and he made it.

He had made it and months had passed. Even though his stomach felt queasy every time he saw Daniel, and his heart felt heavy after every time he left, his defences were stronger than ever. And if the world was good to him, he could make it through this.

But the world, Dean was starting to realise, didn't seem to like him very much.

It was his fault, just like every problem is: he wasn't prepared, he'd been caught off guard.

Seth had been talking about a coffee shop down the road, one that he and Daniel had gone to, quite frequently actually, and Dean was dumb enough to open his mouth without thinking properly.

"Me and Daniel have gone there before, it's really nice, Daniel really likes the coffee they serve there." He had said, a dumb smile on his face at the memory.

Only for that smile to be instantly wiped from his face upon realising what he had said.

Seth had a smug smile on his face and Dean gulped, knowing full well what came next.

"Daniel, huh?" Seth said with a satisfied smirk, "You sure do hang around Daniel quite a lot, don't you?"

"I- It's not like that, Seth," Dean said, looking down at the ground, a blush rising to his cheeks. God, he was turning into a fucking blushing schoolgirl.

Seth just raised his eyebrows at him, saying, "You sure? To me, it kinda looks like you're in love."

And that's what did it.

Dean froze at that, and Seth had walked off, leaving Dean with his own thoughts. Hearing someone else say something that he already knew, but tried so hard ignore, really cemented the fact that he was screwed. Absolutely, fucking, screwed.

He started to panic: last time he got even remotely close to falling in love, he was rejected: broken. The pain he felt last time was unbearable, but the feelings he felt for that person weren't even close to the feelings he felt for Daniel.

If Daniel rejected him too, he wouldn't be able to cope: Daniel was everything to him.

Was it him?

Probably.

Maybe he was just too unlovable, but that had been his fault. If he hadn't kept on pushing Daniel away, and had just acknowledged  
his feelings, maybe he wouldn't be here right now.

He felt alone, not for the first time.

Maybe he was just too bad a person for someone to love. But, he hadn't thought that he was a bad person, he just thought that he was the one good person living in a world of bad people, that they were the problem, not him. But Daniel, he was anything but the problem, the one true source of light in his otherwise dark world.

Daniel deserved better than this: better than him.

He pulled out his phone, and sent Daniel a text, making up an excuse that he wasn't feeling too well and he couldn't get coffee with him. It wasn't a complete lie, he wasn't feeling well, his heart felt anything but well.

He went straight home, ignoring the way his heart felt heavy and his stomach churned with dread and worry, perfectly content with going to sleep, and possibly never waking up.

When he finally got home, he did just that. Dragging his feet, sullenly, to his bedroom, collapsing onto his bed and closing his eyes, trying his hardest to sleep, even though it wasn't working, his thoughts only multiplying as the minutes ticked by.

Soon enough, the complete and utter feeling of emptiness took over him. He thought that you could never miss something you never had, but he felt himself missing Daniel more and more with every passing second. As Dean stared at the wall, his vision steadily became blurrier, and he only had a second to wonder why as he soon felt a wet droplet hit his nose. He couldn't even bring himself to wipe away his tears as they steadily came, maybe he deserved this: maybe he deserved to feel alone.

His eyes eventually became heavier and he soon felt himself drifting off to sleep.

Well, he was: until a steady knock awakened him.

Dean grumbled to himself as he trudged over to the door, not even bothering to fix his appearance as he opened it.

The person at the door was the one he was least expecting.

"Daniel?" Dean said, a confused look on his face.

Daniel just smiled at Dean's confusion, "Don't look so surprised, I came by to check how you're doing: you said that you're sick."

Dean stood out of the way of the door, allowing Daniel to walk in, immediately regretting his decision to not clean his apartment. Daniel didn't seem to mind though and Dean was grateful for that.

Dean sat down first, and Daniel sat next to him, "What's wrong?" He instantly said.

Dean spluttered, not ready for Daniel's question. How did he know? Did Seth tell him? Why else would he be here? Did he even care or was this just some pran-

"You do look a little sick." Daniel interrupted his thoughts, pressing a hand to his forehead, and Dean secretly longed for the contact. He seemed to relax after realising that Daniel was asking how he was physically, not mentally and he was glad because mentally he was not great.

Daniel looked genuinely upset that Dean wasn't well and all those feelings were back again: the heaviness in his heart, the dread in the pit of his stomach, the hammering of his heart, and he hated it, he hated it so, so, much. Why couldn't Daniel just hate him, it'd be so much easier.

"I'm fine." Dean rasped out, his voice hoarse and raw: full of emotion, and Daniel was taken aback at how he sounded. Dean mentally cursed himself, he'd probably given himself away now, and then Daniel would continue to pry and prod and Dean would give in because it's Daniel, and how could he ever say no to Daniel. He'd find out that he loves Daniel, and there, he's said it.

He loves Daniel Bryan.

He loves him, even though he knows, as he was taught from a young age, that all love does it hurt.

He knows that love hurts, and yet he still loves because he doesn't know how to stop loving him: he just can't.

"-ean! Dean, come on, stop daydreaming." Daniel is saying, waving a hand in front of his face and Dean blinks, his mind eventually coming back to his senses.

"Dean, something's not right with you, you're mind is all over the place," Daniel says, too much concern laced in his voice, and Dean looks down. He doesn't want to hide his feelings anymore, but his fear of rejection, it's too controlling.

He swallows thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he does so, and he blinks as his vision rapidly becomes blurry again, and he panics, because he won't, can't cry in front of him. Dean keeps his head down, clenching his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears from coming.

It doesn't work.

He doesn't breathe in as he knows that if he does, his breath will stutter, and he doesn't want to seem weak in front of Daniel, not here, not now.

Dean brings a shaking hand up to cover his face, the tears now falling freely down his face. He breathes in eventually, he has to, and just as he didn't want it to do, his breath shakes as he breathes in.

Daniel is quick to comfort him, placing a hand on the back of his neck, bringing Dean's head towards his shoulder and Dean lets him because he's too tired to fight his feelings anymore. The small bit of comfort only making him cry harder, as he buries his head into Daniel's shoulder, his trembling hands coming up to cling to the front of Daniel's shirt, an extra reassurance that Daniel is there, and he isn't leaving.

Dean bites his lip as an attempt to control himself a little more, and Daniel's hand comes up rub comforting circles into Dean's back, which only makes Dean lose whatever control he has, as the warm embrace of Daniel is something that he's been longing for for months, and it hurts that it's under different circumstances at which he gets his wish.

Daniel gently shushes him, the sound right in his ear, making Dean shiver. It takes a while, but Dean ultimately calms down after while. After his outburst, Dean just feels tired, drained even.

Dean moves to pull away gently, but Daniel resists, holding him just as tight, and Dean's grateful once again. They stay there for a while, and to anyone else, it would seem funny, Dean, who's bigger than Daniel in every day, curled up against Daniel's smaller frame with his head tucked gently against Daniel's shoulder.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Daniel mumbles, and he sounds so concerned that Dean's proud of himself for not breaking down again.

"You wouldn't understand," Dean whispers, and this time he pulls away, suddenly, giving Daniel no chance to hold on again.

He still can't look Daniel in the eyes, burying his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees, exhaling slowly, as his whole body shook, trembling with nerves.

"Dean, you have got to be fucking kidding me," Daniel says, incredulously, and Dean's shocked at Daniel sudden outburst, "I don't care if I understand it or not, I can still listen. Dean, I care about you. And what kind of friend would I be if I didn't listen to you when you're clearly upset."

Dean laughs mirthlessly into his hands, a sound more devoid of any emotion that he ever thought he could make, and this time it's Daniel's turn to be shocked, as he stays silent next to him.

'Friend', huh.

The sudden pang of hurt is back, even more painful than before and this time everywhere. Is that all he was to Daniel?

He doesn't know why he's shocked, he should have really expected that Daniel wouldn't feel the same way.

Sometimes, it just wasn't meant to be.

"You- you don't get it, Daniel," Dean says eventually, not removing his head from his hands, and he feels the sofa beside him shift.

Daniel's leaving, his brain helpfully provides, and Dean just feels numb.

His heart is still hammering in his chest, and he finds himself ever wondering why he ever let himself fall in love: the pain he's feeling now hurts more than any injury he could get whilst wrestling. He should've just listened to the world: he should've just ignored his instincts and given up on love whilst he had the chance, last time he listens to his instincts.

A soft touch to his knee shocks him out of his trance, and Dean jumps, looking up out of surprise.

It's Daniel.

He's crouched down in front of him, looking up at him. Dean swallows again as he looks down at Daniel, and Dean's aware that he looks like a mess. His eyes are red and puffy, and his hair is wild and unkempt, he's a disaster, and yet the way that Daniel looks at him is full of adoration and hope.

"Dean," Daniel murmurs his voice soft like silk, "I care about you, a lot, and I want to be here for you... Please... You can trust me, just tell me what's wrong."

Dean inhales and exhales a shaky breath and opens his mouth to speak, pausing before he can utter a word. He looks down at Daniel, and Daniel looks back with his soft and encouraging eyes and Dean loses all his nerve.

Dean turns his head away, but Daniel's soft touch is still on his knee, a reminder that he's still there: he didn't leave.

He cares.

Dean sucks in another breath, wanting to confess now before he loses all his courage.

"I," Dean starts, and no other words come out, his mouth open as he takes in another breath, "I think that I'm..." Dean winced as he quickly lost his nerve as soon as he found it.

Fuck it.

"Daniel, I'm in love with you."

They both looked equally shocked at that.

Daniel didn't say anything, and Dean felt hope swell up in his chest, his silence was both good and bad.

But then, Daniel withdrew his hand from his knee, and Dean felt all the hope disappear.

It hurt.

Dean wanted to cry, but he couldn't he just felt tired. He wanted to go to sleep and never, ever, wake up because if Daniel wasn't by his side then what was the point. What was the point of anything if the one person that made him happy didn't feel the same way.

He buried his head in his hands, yet again, and waited; he just waited.

He saw Daniel stand up from in front of him through his fingers, and just closed his eyes, he wanted it to be over. He was humiliated enough, he didn't need any more hurt, did he?

What happened next was definitely not what Dean expected, he expected Daniel to leave, he wasn't the type to shout. He expected him to walk out of his life and never, ever, talk to him again, because Daniel deserved better than him, he deserved much, much, better.

Dean expected many, many, different things, but he what he didn't expect was Daniel to encase Dean's hands with his own. Dean's head snapped up, in shock, and looked up at Daniel, who now was stood in front of him.

"Dean... I think I'm in love with you as well." Daniel says, and for a second Dean doesn't believe him. But the soft smile on Daniel's face, and the way his thumbs run over the back of Dean's rough calloused hands, Dean can't help but smile back.

Tears are forming back in his eyes, for what feels like the umpteenth time today, but this time they're happy, and relief is flooding him.

Dean surges forward and wraps his arms around Daniel's small waist, bringing Daniel closer to him. He buries his head in Daniel's stomach, as his arms wrap even tighter around Daniel's waist. One of Daniel's arms go to wrap around Dean's shoulders, whilst the other is back on Dean's neck and he just sobs into Daniel's shirt even more.

The relief is flooding him and the tiredness is coming back. Nothing hurts anymore and the warmth radiating from Daniel is lulling him into sleep, and eventually, his sobs die down.

He doesn't release his arms from around Daniel, perfectly content with staying there. But the strain from holding his arms up around Daniel is starting to kick in, and he's too tired to try and fight it, so he lets his arms drop, not moving his head from its position against Daniel's stomach.

Daniel moves though, and Dean whines, only to sit next to him. A hand comes up to cradle his face, and Dean looks into Daniel's eyes.

"I'm a mess, Daniel." He admits, leaning against him, and Daniel tilts his head up gently, to look up at him.

"That won't stop me from loving you," Daniel says, and he leans in.

Dean closes his eyes as Daniel's lips meet his own and his breath hitches. His heart feels weird again, but not in a bad way, and he finds himself craving more. He shifts so that he facing him and curls one hand around Daniel's waist as he deepens the kiss slightly. Daniel hums contentedly against his lips, opening his mouth as the kiss grew deeper still.

Dean knows that love hurts, and it does painfully so, but right here, right now, he can't wait for love to consume him.


End file.
